Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize