On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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