You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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