I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
