franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
