they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
