youre lurking in front of me
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
