Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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