I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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