so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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