Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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