ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
