i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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