Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
