I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
