dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This baby is an asshole
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize