my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
