i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
