Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
