And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
