just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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