My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
