I just pynch a tree in the face
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
