so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
