I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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