my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
