I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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