I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she looked like the before picture.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
