whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
