I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize