I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
