Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
