I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
