a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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