I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
