I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
birth control should be required to get into college
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
