Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm really busy with my period
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