Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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