Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
