you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
