oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
