Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
