I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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