There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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