hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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