she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
