I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she looked like the before picture.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
