he wants to bone in the snuggie
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize