we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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