You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
