Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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