Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
