I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
