This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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